i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
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