Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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