She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize