they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
