Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
