oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
