3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
