i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
