spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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