sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
