You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
This baby is an asshole
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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