after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
