$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
