You work out of a Hotel?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
