we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Sext me about skeletons
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
