Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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