Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
