fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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