Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I wish i was in the wii world.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
