I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
