Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
