3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
