I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
