Just took my morning after pill in the library
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize