he wants to bone in the snuggie
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
