is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
