my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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