I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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