we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
