I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
