I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
