is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I touched a dick in church today
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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