i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
