I want to have your abortion
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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