theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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