Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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