it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
