That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
