based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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