ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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