I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
