Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
