it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
