I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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