Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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