you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
