Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
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When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
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Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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