we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
The beer is more important than you right now.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
