His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
