His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
