I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
love makes seman taste better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize