my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
