Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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