Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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