Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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