my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Never underestimate the power of titties
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
