So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
