Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
