idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
