It's Friday. Sex?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
